Fuck Smartphones
by LunaSetsuna
Summary: When Zero attempts to use the voice functions to sext his boyfriend his smartphone calls the wrong Kuran. Just a short drabble. DISCLAIMER- I do not own any of the characters in this story nor the show from which they came.


Fuck Smartphones.

Vampire Knight.

Zero sighed dropping his keys on the small hook near the door of the small apartment that Kaname and he had bought Together. The small kitchenette that tripled as a dining hall and entertainment center, the tiny hallway with only two doors into the combined study literally split in half with a paper screen thus giving zero space to work on missions and the bike Yuuki had given him for his last birthday and Kaname the area to manage what he couldn't at work. The other door leading into the bedroom the largest room in the flat having a large closet, bookshelf (even if Kaname got the most use out it) the chessboard over by the window, a chest of draws each with fake bottoms hiding the constantly growing sex toy collection. On the other side of the room another door which led into the bathroom.

Biting his lip the silver haired 21 year old glanced at his wrist watch grinning on seeing that Kaname would be home in a mere half an hour, just in time for their 7th anniversary, before a wicked idea came to his mind in hopes of speeding the pureblood up. The pale male calmly stripping off and putting his torn clothing into the hamper for one of them to wash in the complexes laundromat, before pulling out the second, fourth, and fifth hidden draws. The first draw only contained spare lube which he didn't need, the second contained outfits, the third held a variety of gags, the fourth held restraints and cock cages, the fifth held their whole collection of vibrator.

With a devious grin the purple eyed male calmly struggled into the deep purple lingerie designed after a method of rope bondage the bra had thin but strong ropes acting as both a mini corset and a collar the more ropes trailing down to link with matching female underwear a thin blush forming on his face as he glanced at the bed glad that Kaname had consented to the chains being on the bed legs not the head board locking his wrists and ankles with ease the long chains giving far more movement than what he wanted thus he fished for the hunter charmed set he often carried with him the set more often was used to bind kaname so he could have a few minutes without a half asleep and overly snuggly pureblood wanting to cling to him. After a few seconds of thinking the cuffs locked one hand around and under him linking to the shackle on one of his ankles his free hand pulling the vibrator and his phone back closer, sticking the high powered device into the the hand traped to his foot. Using his leg to help ram the annoyingly pink object inside his ass glad for how vampire dna turned almost all pain into pleasure slowly getting a true pace before moaning hard.

"Call Kuran." Zero breathlessly called out hearing the phone start to ring before answering what was surely his kinky lover.

"Hey Sweetie you're ready for tonight~ im wearing your … favourite ahh outfit and toy~" Zero purred as seductively as possible despite his blush using the rush of pleasure to gain confidence as he sexted his foolish workaholic pureblood his moans drowning out a distantly familiar voice squeaking his name.

"You're gonna have to,,, OH GODS speak up Kuran phone shifted out of reach of the chains you love so much~" Zero continued before a background voice muttered something randomly.

"ZERO KIRIYU WRONG KURAN!" Yuuki squeaked like she had been fed helium into the the phone her words taking a few seconds to register before Zero scrambled for the phone tangling himself in the bed sheets handing inches off the floor.

"Yuuki?" Zero squeaked like a mouse.

"My gods onichan, I'm in a conference with our 'papas'! im so using this for a fanfic btw but my gods!" Yuuki half rambled in embarrassment.

"Yuuki is that Zero on the phone? Tell him Cross and I say hi." Yagari's voice echoed distantly.

"FUCK SHIT IM SOOOO SORRY YU! STUPID FUCKING SMARTPHONE! OH god!" Zero began to ramble his confidence completely gone as he realized what had happened.

The stupid smartphone called the younger Kuran, the notorious yaoi fan girl whose main duties where helping manage Cross academy as both Yagari and Cross were getting to old for the task. Her conference was the monthly meeting with Cross to discuss new idea and applications to the school. Which he had interrupted and by the sounds of laughter Cross had heard some of the moaning or at least read Yuuki well enough to get the idea.

"I'm using this as a fanfic I just need to work out the right show! You can't stop me! This is revenge for making me listen to that when I tried to warn you!" Yuuki began to giggle in embarrassment as Zero tried to escape the tangle he was in only managing to make both problems worse.

And gain a new one as the front door opened, a jingle of keys meaning Kaname had returned.

"What on earth?" Kaname held back a chuckle at the half upside down Zero hanging off the side of the bed lucky the top blanket had fallen with him and thus formed a 'wolf' tail that hid most of Zero's next to naked flesh.

"Onisama text me later, oh I'm sooo using this for a story~~" his little sister giggled before hanging up.

"I need to shoot myself... oh gods... I fucking hate smart phones..." Zero began to whisper on a loop as Kaname moved over gently heaving Zero back onto the bed.

"I'm assuming anniversary gift gone ary?"

"I told it to call Kuran it called the wrong fucking Kuran and I didn't realize it was Yuuki or that she was in the monthly conference..." Zero whimpered as Kaname snuggled him gently unlocking the the cuffs snorting in laughter as the vibe was thrown hard at the wall the floppy thing bouncing back almost hitting the bed.

"DONT FUCKING LAUGH ASS HOLE!"

"Shh its ok, i'll talk to yuuki im sure I can at least bribe her into silence to a degree." Kaname purred gently kissing Zero's nose hoping to calm him.

"Cross heard me moan..." Zero whispered in horror.

"i'll deal with him as well, there there its gonna be ok... here have a drink it should relax you." Kaname soothed petting the silvery locks as Zero's sharp fangs nearly broke his collarbone.

Ever since the first time Zero fed off him the young hunter settled into a pattern of deep heavy gulps biting down harder with each one until Kaname began to moan, with the locks gone the embarrassed vampire climbed on top grinding the shibari like underwear against him. Deep magenta eyes glared down at Kaname mentally blaming the pureblood for the whole mess (Kuran was after all the one who upgraded both phones without asking into stupid fucking smartphones.) being Zero's reasoning.

"You have no fucking idea how freaking embarrassed I feel." Zero hummed still grinding against his lover the rush of blood helping dull the fear and other emotions.

"Then make me, Zero. I want to help and I want to understand." Kaname stated evenly yelping when Zero's grinding pressed a touch to hard on the one part all creatures with a beating heart found painful.

With a positively demonic smirk Zero grabbed the phone switching it into camera before ordering Kaname to strip, snapping shots ever so often as the pureblood obediently did as he was told.

"That's my girl now go put on your prettiest dress." Zero hissed watching a shiver run through Kaname as he moved over to the draws pulling out a red and black frilly maid uniform slipping it on calmly before gasping.

Zero some how managing to keep a hand on the phone had slammed them into the window making the dress billow out displaying everything as the vampire prince was pressed against the glass, a teasing hand tapping lightly against his member while zeros defined chest covered in rope pressed into him. Luckily it was bearly 2 am thus there wasn't anyone in the streets (unless serien was sleeping in the car again, it would be the first time...) Kaname mentally thanked his cheeks flushing as he begun to see how scared and upset the little mistake had made his sweet caring hunter. The click of a photo being taken and the flash of light under the skirt set a tremor threw the older vampire letting Zero enter him without preparation moaning in delight as the normally sweet hunter 'claimed' his territory like a wild animal before spring Kaname around to hand on his knees just so Zero could come on the pretty dress before passing out.

With a tiny smile Kaname quickly redressed them both before picking up the phone.

"Ok Yuuki what happened."

"Zero sexted me by mistake. Yes I'm turning this into a fanfic but i'll try to make it as least embarrassing on you both for a price~" the yaoi fan chirped.

"What. Do . You. Want; and it better be good seeing I just had to coax Zero way for the Bloody Rose out of fear of you. Not to mention Cross."

"Cross didn't hear much more that my screams, i'll wait a few months then post it which characters who's names are nowhere near either of yours, my conditions are that you tell me what this 'favourite outfit is' and how many chains." Yuuki sighed understanding why they were so embarrassed even if Zero (while she was still human) had dated her (dumped her for her brother) she could put herself in his shoes...

"Shibari rope underwear female top and bottom, and we only own 4 chains but Zero hunter cuffed to of them together and got tangled upside down in a ball." Kaname muttered listening to Yuuki twitter happily.

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"I'll be good and i'll handle Papa ok, you just keep Zero calm and happy, love you big brother."

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 **AN- This was a short drabble created from a real life (to a small degree) event where I was placed in Yuuki's shoes for this story.**

 **MORAL- Don't give us yaoi fan any opportunities, we can smell blood in the water.**

 **P.s- Don't use the voice functions on your smart phones they are really stupid and will more often than not fail you.**


End file.
